BEST OF MILAN – FALL/WINTER 2006-2007 On to Paris.

British papers will have you believe she now makes ‘her girls’ smoke crystal meth but we don’t buy it. The secret to beating carb cravings is Orbit Citrus. Some people take it instead of breakfast, lunch and dinner. Works wonders.

Carbs aside, we are here to show you what Rachel Zoe-bots will be wearing next spring. Forewarned means armed and dangerous, right? So here’s a Zoe-bot shopping list:

Nicole Richie gets Jovovich-hawk dresses. Paisley gowns go over really well in LA and the ruffles on the chest create a much-needed illusion of breasts. Plus some Gucci and Dsquared2 to bum around in.

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Lohan gets this Alberta Feretti beaded dress. It’s equal parts expensive and flashy. Also a silver Fendi dress. (You know who Karl made that one for, right?) Plus an uber-mature Giles Deacon leather dress that she will wear on the cover of some edgy magazine with a headline Lindsey Lo – Disney no mo’.
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Mischa Barton gets Marc Jacobs holographic dress. No human being has any reason to wear something like this unless it’s as tall and as blonde as Mischa. Still, she’s only allowed to have it if she loses another six pounds and lands a role in a movie. Keeping with the boho tradition she also gets a Gucci butterfly tank and a Jil Sander dress to make her look “a little smarter.” (Allah knows, that’s hard to do)
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Now we just have to wait for the Chanel show to see which purse Rachel Zoe is going to snag. We bet it’s the one with the biggest Chanel logo. Clashing C’s signal to the masses that the girls are “refined and elegant”. Fool them twice, Rachel?

Her name is Suvi Koponen, she’s 18 years old. And she’s got that Gemma/Sasha thing going on.

The archetype of a supreme being – Suvi Koponen

Yvan, the Face Hunter has hunted down Jade, the maniac from America’s Next Top Model!! He, of course couldn’t fully comprehend the significance of this event, and was simply captivated by her fortune-teller outfit.
There’s nothing more poignant than a fading reality TV star. Just recently I ran into Eva (Season 3?) Desperate for attention, Eva, complete with an entourage, was walking around Soho in the middle of the day wearing a fishnet top, *tiny* denim cut-offs and six inch heels. She could as well be nude and working a poll. Her breasts looked really nice, but come on, it’s not a music video out here.

In the meantime, America’s Next Top Model writers are on strike. Can you tell?

Remember, we’re just trying to help …

The Dot Com Raider. She consistently shops online, despite living in a major urban area with every store and every designer readily available within blocks. The outcome: Her closet is busting with mismatched, ratty looking Gucci and DKNY from overstock.com and she still doesn’t have one decent outfit to show for it.

The Muse. She looks down on people who wear something from H&M, Urban Outfitters or Forever 21. She gets her clothes from her design major friends at Parsons and FIT. The outcome: Her clothes are totally original – in a creative-draping-with-a-glue-gun project kind of way. And her new boyfriend, also from Parsons, is anything but straight.

Miss 80’s. She’s about five feet tall but layers all sorts of rocker tees, washed-out vintage, whimsical paisleys and polka dots, leggings, skull scarves, and color-clashing belts and necklaces. She chips her nail polish, and regularly appears on the Cobrasnake and the Lastnightsparty. The outcome: She thinks she looks exuberant and experimental but in fact she looks just like any other girl that lives in Brooklyn.

The Gift Bag Whore. She l o v e s free shit. Doesn’t matter what it is – as long as she didn’t have to pay for it. The amount of giveaway apparel and make-up she’s accumulated over the years is exploding all over her closet and bathroom. She goes to events for gift bags and she’ll take two – hers and the neighbor’s. The outcome: When she brags about that sample sale she went to, everyone just feels sad for her and for her twenty-dollar Michael Kors wedges.

I’m taking way too many math classes for someone so fashion-crazy… and spss is one of those things that can kill your glamour buzz for good. So, excuse my absence from here this week … Here, I’ve got some Irina for you for inspiration.

She’s always good
Oh yeah, next spring’s big fads: wedged gladiator sandals, extra bleached jeans

John Mark Karr and Kofi Annan Spring ‘07 collections made a splash in New York this week. They are both very talented up and coming designers but we here are particularly fond of John Mark Karr’s new “Little Princess” diffusion line. It hits all the right notes – it’s young and casual but still very Mark Karr…

The turtleneck and black skinny pants Audrey is wearing in these Gap ads were designed by Hubert de Givenchy. They were fit, cut and put together in Givenchy’s workroom in Paris. It’s so wrong that Gap gets to use all that but it works!

That’s a Cleo award

You’re famous now, honey

Vivienne Westwood is in town today. Guess what she’s up to…

The strongest look of the Tuleh Spring collection was the leather coat and even that was lifted from last season’s YSL. Disappointing.

Tuleh Spring ‘07

YSL Fall ‘06

We’re not amused.

Red at DVF

Do Not repeat this at home>>>>

she’s totally stalking me

at DVF

Remember when your mom dressed you for school and you got beat up?

Thom Browne remembers that day with fondness

There’s always something off about the fresh faces in fashion shows. They are sophomoric and low budget, which can be cute. But it wasn’t yesterday. And we wouldn’t be as nasty about it if Gen Art didn’t torture us with 30 minutes of gospel and a fake preacher-conferancier. (Jesus was vomiting from all the blasphemy.) To get this straight once and for all – the fact that Marc Jacobs had a marching band opening for his fashion show last year does not make it OK for everyone to try and copy that, alright?

But Gen Art is not yet LVMH, so we’ll cut them some slack…

There was one really good going last night and that was April, May, a duo from Paris. Buyers will be calling in the orders and that’s what counts. So here’s what looked good:

April, May – could it be that the end of the muumuu is near?

Yeah, Marc, where’s the invites?!

Talk to any fashion insider – a Vogue photographer or a celebrity fashion stylist and the first thing they let you know is that they hate fashion. They roll their eyes, make their best I-am-bored-and-exhausted facial expression and declare that fashion week sucks. They toss their fashion show tickets into trash and RSVP “No” to town’s hottest afterparties. They ignore fashion week. Fucking i g n o r e it.

They’ll go to a fashion show, but preferably to the one in Paris and only if personally invited by their friend Marc. You have to be pretty amazing to have the privilege to ignore all this but, Christ, would you really want to be this jaded..?

…To be fair all this fashion week commotion can kill you. You almost have to be jaded to get though it and not fall malnourished, alcohol poisoned and sick.

We here choose our parties wisely. The Daily Party at Tenjune was fun. It felt like half my blogroll was there (how fucking geeky is that?!): Imaginary Socialite (of course), Sartorialist with his awesome new Cannon, Face Hunter in his cool white shoes with an ultra cool chick in tow. Well and Irina Lazareanu – the big deal…

Yo. When am I getting my party pics? huh??? Huh??!! Off into the night again — see ya.

Looks like Steven Meisel decided to remind everyone why he’s considered the most influential fashion photographer in the world. If his State of Emergency editorial in Italian Vogue doesn’t make you hyperventilate than you’re just utterly jaded. We love the dynamics, the plot and the execution. Plus he gets to vicariously torture models Hilary and Iselin … It’s fun to be Meisel.

Hilary Rhoda by Steven Meisel for Vogue Italia | September 2006 + from TFS

Starting today FAD is contributing to Radar - America’s greatest new magazine. Obviously we can’t even begin to tell you how excited we are about that.

Our super cool editors let us rant on the Daily Sift blog and review trends and brands over on Radar Reviews. We get to release so much venom in the mornings that we’re actually sweet and kind for the rest of the day. (Could it be that Radar is making us a better person?! Hope not…)

By the way, everyone is more than welcome to send in links, tips and any fresh new fashion dirt. Thanks in advance, dolls!

Shop responsibly. Credit card debt is no fun…

On Gemma: medium sleeve shirt, $501, On Lily: sleeveless dress $729, shoping bag $591