Mary Kate Olsen actually eats!

Now she just has to learn how to hold the food down. Both twins are constantly seen wearing these huge Supa Dupa glasses. French girls at Mott street model hangouts wore these glasses like it was a uniform last summer.

Something to think about…

Kylie Minogue’s a doll. She is only five feet tall but manages to look delightfully trim and sexy. I even like her in this milkmaid dress. I can just see her on a farm with a bucket of horse shit or something. Adorable.

I actually like this dress. Prints will be big this summer. And those red open-toe shoes are simply perfect.

American Apparel founder Dov Charney photographed in a his new ad campaign.

This is what happens when you leave a child behind. While Mr. President was carried away with his new mandate his daughter was being dry humped by unidentified young Conservative at a post-Inauguration party.

That skinny-ass Republican on top of Jenna Bush better not stain her famous green dress. [via Gawker]

Rich women start looking surprisingly alike when approaching 50. And it’s not a good thing.

Donatella Madonna.

These two sisters have got to cut down on protein shakes. Their bulging muscles make them look like twin transvestites.

Try not to inspect your vagina on the beach.



What was Anna Kurnikova expecting to find there, anyway? [via Gawker]

Mrs. Federline is getting offensively fat. Truly a pitifull sight.

Meanwhile, the hot bisexual model is going away to a remote Caribbean island for a few days looking positively better than Mrs. Federline.

Hot bisexual models loooooove the beaches and hate the tsunamis.

Be back soon, you guyz!

Love ya’ll!

Undercover’s Jun Takahashi is not your ordinary gay designer, he actually hates women. He hates them so much he’d like to see them physically hurt. Some fashion critic’s may call his design art I call it a passive-aggressive personality disorder. If he wasn’t doing fashion he’d be cutting off the heads of unsuspecting Japanese girls in the dark streets of Tokyo. The following photos should constitute evidence sufficient for a criminal psychologist to put this guy into a mental institution before it’s too late!!!

Undercover: “Suffocation fantasy”

Here, a model is literally choking on a thick chignon of hair. Poor girl.

The model’s head is in a wired cage. We can’t see her face because it is covered in some kind of pubic hair. Ouch!

Forget the newsboy caps. It’s fedoras, buckets and floppy hats. Fedoras, although elegant, can look over-the-top: my crocodile leather one was turning a lot of heads the other day. Bridge & Tunnel will not get next to this idea for another year:

Christian Dior

Floppy hats can be hippie-floppy or deluxe-floppy. I’d opt for a blow out glamour one, like in Rudolph Valentino days. We only live once, so what the fuck.

Dolce & Gabbana

Downtown girls are wearing crochet bucket hats that are so totally post modern:

Prada

… according to Mr. Blackwell are:

10. Anna Nicole Smith – “She’s a bona fide fashion scream…looks like a rag doll trapped in a wind machine!”

9. Meryl Streep – “Forget ‘Lemony Snicket’..Streep packs the fashion punch of Jiminy Cricket.”

8. Paula Abdul – “Perky Paula’s a paint-by-numbers fashion foul. She dresses with all the restraint of a revved-up Simon Cowell!”

7. Britney Spears – “a clothes encounter of the catastrophic kind!”

6. Serena Williams – “courting disaster with every style-free serve,” he says, adding that she’s gone “from the Queen of Tennis to Fatal Fashion Menace.”

5. Paris Hilton – “her designer is obviously on vacation. This is one Hilton that should be closed for renovation!”

4. Courtney Love – “Setting the decadent precedent was once her couture code. Now, she’s just Medusa stuck in a meltdown mode.”

3. Jessica and Ashlee Simpson – “From gaudy…to grim…to downright frenetic, these two prove that bad taste is positively genetic!”

2. Lindsay Lohan – “over-hyped and under-dressed,” he says. “What’s happened to Lindsay? When it comes to fashion she’s in a schizophrenic frenzy!”

And the number 1 worst dresser according to Mr. Blackwell is…1. Nicolette Sheridan of ‘Desperate Housewives.’ “In barely-there bombs she’s a taste-free pain. Let’s crown her the Tacky Temptress of Wisteria Lane!”

Blackwell gave thumbs up to “fabulous fashion independents” Nicole Kidman, Natalie Portman, Barbara Walters, Kate Winslet, Annette Bening, Oprah Winfrey, Scarlett Johansson, Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Garner and Sheridan’s on-screen nemesis Teri Hatcher.

Every time some bummy looking PETA activist stops me in the East Village I lie to them I don’t eat meat. The other day I also had to lie that I only drink soy milk because it is their new thing. These activists are getting more obnoxious by the day. They’ll have a bitch fit when they see my new furs. Fur is so hot right now. And it will continue to be hot next fall:

Dolce & Gabbana:

Ana Sui has furs on sale at her Greene Street shop right now. Starting at $365, ladies and gentlemen.

Another example of fashion editors being six months too late. Here’s what is in and what is out in 2005, according to British fashion trade paper Draper’s Record:

“WHAT’S OUT <> WHAT’S IN

Sex And The City <> The OC

Tweed <> Arts & Crafts designs

Twenties <> Seventies

Romantic <> Bohemian

Satin <> Crochet

Shoppers <> Satchels

Flip-flops <> Wedges

Vintage jewellery <> Tribal beads

Butterflies <> Birds

Cutaway swimsuits <> Bikinis

Margaret Thatcher chic <> Floaty femininity

Ponchos <> Shrugs

Mulberry Roxanne bag <> Chloe Paddington bag

Burberry house check <> Burberry Prorsum

Flash cash <> Chip & PIN

Brazil <> Las Vegas

Board Style <> Vintage Hawaiian

Western <> Hornblower naval style

Real rock <> Opera

Cowboy <> Riviera

Rugby <> Golf

Yoga <> Ballroom dancing”

Ok, they are about 75% right.

I love the rich girl look. And let me tell ya, coding as a rich girl definitely helps. I don’t care if you have to starve – investing in Armani and Versace is like investing in college. The secret is, you don’t even need to be rich to look rich: just buy one $1000 item instead of five $200 dollar items. It makes all the difference in the world.

Here’s how the rich girls will look this summer:

Miu Miu

Prada

PH in the airport flying off to Switzerland …

No wonder the Swiss were appauled: “Poor Phuket got a tsunami, and we got Paris Hilton”

My favorites from Ana Sui’s Spring 2005 collection:

Country style. Very nice.

I like satin too. I already have a similar one in plum.

The New York Times came out with predictions for Fall 2005. They are so brainy there but really don’t say anything new. The Lady’s Gone, but Don’t Look for a Tramp:

- “The neoconservative lady of 2004 may have vanished, she isn’t about to be replaced this year by the waif or the hippie, unless it’s the deluxe kind.”

- Luxury is in: “Francisco Costa, the women’s designer at Calvin Klein will be using for fall a blend of cashmere and mink.”

- Pencil skirts and tweed are out, long narrow tiered skirts are in: “We’ve been trialing them about a month,” Jane Shepherdson, the Topshop brand director, said before Christmas. “They’ve worked in every store we’ve put them in.” Women have been wearing the skirts, which are narrow and tiered, with flat boots or shoes.”

(continued below)

- Vintage is out: “At Relic, a London vintage store, designers are still coming in to frisk the Westwoods and Rabannes. But as the owner, Steven Philip, said: “I’m so over vintage, and I own a vintage store. These designers are chasing their own tails. People are dying for a big flash show.”

- “Mr. Hernandez of Proenza Schouler said he and his partner, Jack McCollough, are focusing on volumes for fall. “We like the juxtaposition of different volumes”

- The Age of Chloe: “The midpoint of every decade seems to produce a dominant star. In the 1990’s it was Tom Ford at Gucci. A lot of fashion watchers say the moment is right for Phoebe Philo of Chloé.”

- “Francisco Costa, the women’s designer at Calvin Klein: “Business is tough,” he said. One fabric he will be using for fall is a blend of cashmere and mink.”

- “… sights on 2006. “It’s going to be the start of dropping out, downsizing and divesting yourself,” he said. “And that’s going to have all kinds of design implications. Too many products right now are overdesigned. He foresees the beginning of “an aesthetic movement” that will lead people actually to brag that they own only one bag or expensive coat.” << Yeah, right.

I love older french ladies. They so elegantly cover that plunging neckline with a $500 scarf. Here’s Isabelle Adjani:

US Vogue’s Anna Wintour is quite exquisite as well.

You have to give it to them: these old bags have a good taste and a really good dermatologist.

just fire him. Do not listen to his fashion advice – it’s a set up.

Lohan’s stylist puzzles me. Why would you dress her up in pink?

Is that what they wear to homecomings in Nebraska these days?

She’s a big girl with C-cup silicone implants! Treat her like an adult!

Even Russian strippers from the West side titty bars say that Paris Hilton’s trash. This sickening Peptobismol disaster doesn’t come as a surprise but it makes me feel really bad for her. She looked a lot better in that video where she’s naked and with a cock in her mouth. Stick to it, girl…

Shorts for the beautiful people:

Dsquared:

Gucci:

And shorts for those who eat at McDonalds and Burger King. Please cover your sellulite!

Dsquared:

Diane von Furstenberg: